GearFlogger

Outdoor Research Gorilla Balaclava

One of the best things about mountaineering is being able to wear a balaclava without getting pulled over by the police or kicked in the head by Chuck Norris. When it's time to get your inner ninja on pull on a Gorilla 'clava from Outdoor Research.

The Gorilla goes normal clavas one better with a collection of features: it's Windstopper, it has a nose shield that directs your nasty booger spray away from your shades, a fine mesh covers your mouth, and the face shield is removable via velcro straps on either side.

The Gorilla fits very close because it's not a pull-over; instead it has Velcro on the side to open the face up for putting on and taking off. It's cut lower in front to cover your chin, and higher in back so you'll want a high collar to cover the gappage; if you've got a hood you're all set. The inside is supersoft fleece. All in all, very nice and suitable for extreme conditions where you want no square inch of skin uncovered. Be aware: like all Windstopper headwear it muffles sound a little, and when you rip off the Velcro closure it's pretty loud inside.

$49.95 at Backcountry

Sport Science Winter Wicking Beanie Hat

And now for something a little bit different. The Sport Science Winter Wicking Beanie is a classier version of the now ubiquitous - yeah, that's a college word - fleece dome hat.

Sport Science does the concept one better by mixing in 10% merino wool with 90% good old dead dinosaur based polyester. The end result is a hat that has the wicking performance of fleece with the flat-nap look of a high-end wool product.

The earband is double thick for a little extra warmth just where you want it. The entire inside is a familiar fleece feel, i.e. nice and soft. If you're looking for a dome that you can wear from backcountry to boardwalk the Beanie will do you right, especially the all-black version that looks extra-haute. Just remember to carefully take a seam ripper to the little yellow tab, which is a bit scratchy.

$25.40 at Two Knobby Tires

REI Snoqualmie cap in eVent

No joke, there I was, knee deep in hand grenade pins and lookin' for wabbits. OK, that's not true, but what is true is that you can now get your Elmer-Fudd-in-the-Afrika-Korps thing on with the REI Snoqualmie cap in eVent.

If you're looking for an alternative to the ubiquitous Sherpa cap for keeping your brain housing group from getting wet and cold, the Snoqualmie has you... covered. The eVent shell is weatherproof and as a bonus breathes like a overweight harrier chasing down dinner.

Warmth is guaranteed by generous helpings of PrimaLoft Sport everywhere but the brim, and the microfleece lining is rabbit-fur-soft. The earflaps snap up to stow away, but there's nothing keeping them down if you're facing into a stiff wind. A keeper cord would help, as well as secure your haberdashery whilst you're cuttin' up the slopes. Awesome gift for hunters, dads and retro-hipsters.

$39.50 at REI

Mountain Hardwear Micro Dome

Back to basics, folks. The Mountain Hardwear Micro Dome is indispensable wherever you need a little love on your noggin. Polartec 100 and a soft, my-mama-loves-me feel make this hat worth every penny of its teeny tiny price. It's not unusual to own more than one, so don't feel like a freak. Well, not for that anyway. One size fits many.

Warning: do not get the light purple one unless you are a woman. I don't know how the hell that color made it into the men's section. Don't do it. I'm watching you. Yeah, you.

$15 at REI

Mountain Hardwear Power Stretch balaclava

I am even closer to my lifetime goal of dressing from head to toe in Power Stretch with Mountain Hardwear's Power Stretch balaclava. The only thing missing is PS socks, and I will never stop looking until I have found this holy grail.

I've been a fan of PS forever, mostly because it does so many things well. It breathes, wicks and insulates well and provides moderate weather protection that's sufficient for most conditions. It's only natural that you would want to encase your brain housing unit in this wonder material.

MH's 'clava is one size fits all, so if your noggin is abnormal be warned. This means you, Brainiac. It easily fits over the nose and over the chin, a little more snug to fit it under the chin. It will also roll down into a somewhat bulky neck gaiter. The best thing is it's tailored to the natural contours of the skull instead of the straight cut some manufacturers use. This lets you forget you're wearing it even if you're looking around a lot. I used to own two 'clavas for different conditions, one ultrathin and one heavyweight. Now I just have this one.

$28.00 at REI

180s Exolite Ti earwarmers

These days everyone associates 180s with Mitt Romney (Look, I'm a liberal! Wait, I'm a conservative! No, I'm just a nasty flip-flopping political whore!), but they have another claim to fame as a company that produces earwarmers. I don't know why, but I've never been happy with headbands, and that's left me with limited options when a hat is overkill.

Sure, I've tried the earbag solution and it works, but I've yearned for something more. 180s Exolite Ti earwarmers fill the niche between earbags and headbands nicely. Cool your jets, gram weenie: they're not actually made of titanium as the name indicates. They're only an ounce or two anyway though, so don't sweat it.

In fact, don't sweat at all: the reason I obsess over ear protection is for high-output activities like cross-country skiing, snow biking and snowshoeing, where your ears can get cold while the rest of you is contributing to a measurable increase in local humidity. The Exolite Ti won't break the bank, and it folds up flat so you can keep it in your pocket just in case. Suitable for about town too, 'cause it won't mess up your 'do.

$25.00 at REI

Outdoor Research Sun Runner hat

You all know what I think about running. That said, runners do contributed to product development in much the same way lab rats do. Case in point: hats. The Sun Runner hat from Outdoor Research is the latest in my endless quest for the perfect soft mountaineering headgear.

The Sun Runner is synthetic so it's light and dries quickly. What makes it a little different from other sun hats is that is has mesh side panels that can be covered with the removable cape. So you have a number of different configurations to use, and rather than being gimmicky they actually work well.

The bill is sufficiently stiff and the fabric has a 30+ UPF rating so your delicate alabaster skin doesn't crinkle like a dollar bill in the sun. There's even a Coolmax wicking headband and a cincher cord so it won't fly off on a glacier in a windstorm. All in all, a worthy contender, especially if you suffer from the running sickness.

$27.95 at Backcountry.com

Beko nose guard

The nose guard is an essential piece of kit, the more so on any form of water be it snow, ice or liquid. You don't want your honker to look like W.C. Fields on a bender, after all.

The Beko nose guard is adequate. The velcro strip secures it to almost any pair of glasses, and by tucking it under the frame it stays put pretty well even in high-wind conditions. Buy it a size larger than recommended to ensure proper coverage.

I'm still waiting for the perfect nose guard, which would cover the bottom of the nose so you don't end up with glacier-roasted nostrils after a day on the ice pack. Until then I guess I'll just stick with duct tape. Get it? Stick? Gah, I'm killin'!

$5.95 at American Alpine Institute

Earbags

Earbags sounds like either (1) airbags for your ears or (2) a sexual act of indeterminate but undoubtedly disgusting nature required to get patched in with an outlaw motorcycle gang. In this case the truth is somewhat more pedestrian; we're talking fleece covers for your ears.

I saw my buddy wearing a pair while cross-country skiing and I gave him a ration about how dorky they looked. Once I had milked the topic to my own childish satisfaction I realized that yes, frequently it was only my ears that were cold, but in the same situation a hat or even a headband might be overkill.

So I bought a pair and I confess I was wrong. They are actually quite clever and useful and cool people do indeed wear them, as I myself prove. They keep ears warm during cold weather aerobic activity like skiing. For getting patched in with the Mongols, not so much.

$15.00 at REI

Shred Alert Ponytail Headband

I have been told by a female editor that the Shred Alert Ponytail Headband is proof that there is a god. I was going to point out that perhaps she meant "goddess" but I decided to save the irony for my gentle readers.

It's Shred Alert, so you know it's stylish and well-made. One simple modification makes a useful item even... usefuller. It is a headband. With a hole. In the back. For a ponytail. Or your third eye, if you live near high-tension power lines. My editor informs me that the location of the hole allows a "perky ponytail." Not to be confused with pasted-against-the-ears ugly Heidi ponytail.

The headband is constructed of Malden Mills Polartec fleece and comes in red, blue and vanilla. Or, as they say in the biz, two colors and a flavor. OK, I made that up. All colors reverse to black, and there is even a matching neck gaiter available. That part is true. OK, let's review: inexpensive + well-made + stylish + useful = great gift for your woman or as I like to call it, a get-out-of-the-doghouse free card.

$19.00 at Shred Alert